i see people who have never lived their truth

envy the youth

draw a line to divide those who have lived longer

but still wander

they are not fine

or wise

they have just grown tired                                                  of being naive

                              so to satisfy displease

they pretend that they know

this is wrong                                             that is right

do not fight

what they say

not only lies but consequences too have been made

punished for finding your truth

while you are still considered to be in your youth

you know yourself all too well                                                                too soon

its good to be lost

                    have to follow a boss

veer away from the line

don’t dare cross

thats what they say

but the fire in your belly put you here today

to stand up

not obey

and proudly say

that i am who i am

and i don’t give a damn

fuck the perfect plan

i’ll draw my path

won’t fear your wrath

i have my own

i’ll never be without a home

i’ll follow my soul

and will never be told

to sit down

or that faith can’t be found

it is all within

my story will begin

and i’ll have real tales

of wisdom

     for children who listen

                           to not just me

but stay curious                                                                      and search for more than they see

 

 

old souls in a new world – g.c.

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do you wake up in the morning in a good mood?

have you not been crushed by the weight of your actions?

what does power give to you?

you’re clearly empty.

power deceives you to believe that you are wealthy and full.

how do you function without the voice of your soul?

did you bury it so deep that it vanished?

do you even own your soul or did you have to gamble it?

so you could be manipulative and controlling,

so you could have power.

i do not think I will ever fully know the answers to these questions,

but truthfully,

i do not want your answers.

i do not deserve lies.

yet,

i still ask,

and my main question is dejected and sorrowful.

why?

– g.c.

how do you transform poison

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Okay. Before you read, it is going to seem a little harsh, but it was truly how I was feeling in that moment. I know there is good compassionate people in this world, it is just often masked by the large amount of hate, jealousy, and greed. Even those who possess these qualities are innately good, I believe.

I think for too long now, there has been a lack of knowledge. I also think there is a bit of a disconnect amongst humans and our true nature. We are the same at the core. Many will try to deny this, but there is evidence in those who have been brave enough to strip away their egos and bare the layers of their souls. This was written in a time of hopelessness and is far from how I feel today. Anyways, here is an old entry from my journal:

everywhere I go I see poisoned minds

there is no normalcy anymore

everything about the world and its people

it’s crazy and fucked up

it has made me physically sick

this evil

these ideas

they are the disease of the world

what can I do?

 

how do you transform poison? – g.c.

 

So, like I said, harsh. I wrote it a couple months ago. I needed to write this down, to express what I was feeling, which was deep pain and hopelessness. I felt powerless and angry. The whole thing probably sounds dramatic, but honestly, I don’t think it is. That breaks my heart to even say.

I wrote this, because I was aggravated by the separation in our world. I was lost. I could not understand hate. I was uncertain of myself and my capability to help others. I had no confidence in myself, which was clearly reflected in my confidence in the world.

In my mind, peace seems easy. It is a simple idea. If each of us worked on ourselves and put our best effort forward, everything would be easier, we would know harmony. We would be one civilization with no borders, nothing owned, only shared. Who said the world was ours any how? What gives one human being more of a right to land than another? Most people would see me as a silly naive little girl for having this idea. I know, right now, it is not that simple. This picture represents only one event that is occurring in our world, where human beings are causing harm to one another. “What can I do?”, is a question I am sure many, like myself, ask. Certain humans are made to feel powerless in these situations, yet they continue to tell us that we have a voice and that we are free. I have come to realize I am not powerless. I no longer desire to let the circumstances of the outer world limit me and keep me stagnant. Everyday, I can make the choice to be loving and kind and to grow. I do not need to take out any discontent, that I may be feeling inside, out on the rest of the world. I control my happiness. Everyone controls their own happiness, but many do not realize this. So, I can choose to spread love to those who are lacking, to those who feel out of control.

A scared little girl wrote this journal entry. She no longer lives inside of me. I am not controlled by my fears. I am not controlled by other’s opinions. I struggle, but at the end of the day, I always choose love. Even when I let fear slip into my mind, when I allow hopelessness to take over, something inside of me is stronger now, due to the knowledge I have gained. I have complete trust in myself, that I will always get back up, even when my thoughts bring me to the verge of giving up. I have come to appreciate everything that I am and everything that I have. Gratitude helped me to fall far too much in love with this world to ever give up on it.