eating disorders

we send the deathly skinny to rehab before their heart beat slows and they get bradycardia.

why don’t we send the morbidly obese to rehab before a heart attack occurs?

neither are respecting or loving their bodies.

viewing themselves as one entity

not allowing themselves to feel value.

we don’t teach the people how to eat, connect with, and love their bodies,

so a disease of the mind is created,

an illusion,

a disconnection.

both are plagued.

they don’t know how to listen to their bodies.

they are not in tune,

and have become disconnected from that source of love.

yet,

so many just sit there and judge,

because they too feel the disconnect.

 

taking the time to understand,

changing our perception of society,

seeing ourselves as equal,

we can all begin to heal.

 

When I write about these things, I never aim to target or attack anyone, only state my thoughts. I love to know how people react, when they keep an open mind. I would love to hear everyone’s viewpoint, when I write post like this, so feel free to share your thoughts.

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be aware of who you surround yourself with
just because they’re family does not mean they have your best interest at hand
if you use the word family to set high expectations
you are going to give them all the power to hurt you when you allow their actions to disappoint you
they themselves won’t know how much they have affected you
until you let them go
this is where you have patience
because if you wait
those who are meant to be in your life
won’t feel abandoned by you
rather they’ll follow you down the higher road
and thank you for lighting the way

 

family shouldn’t cost you love for yourself- g.c.

have i ever known balance?

it seems i am catapulted from two extremes.

i can’t even grasp the feelings i once had.

no substance compares to the natural high of when you love yourself.

the substances only fill the holes of the pieces of you,

which you don’t find complete on the days,

when looking back in the mirror,

the soul you once saw possessing a home within your crystal eyes has been defeated by the egoic mind.

your eyes are dull and no eyeshadow could make them brighter,

at least not in the same way an authentic smile

draws the light towards itself.

you radiate from the inside out.

an essence as pure as you,

then defeated,

caves in on itself

to the extreme where your only way to cope is denial.

these feelings are not real.

avoidance may seem rather juvenile,

but it is the only way to stop from vomiting

from this pendulum swing.

this is my life and sometimes it is dizzying.

there has just always been something within me

that pushes me to rise,

even though i know i must come down again.

there is no victory nor win

i will settle on the feeling that acceptance brings.

 

extremely enlightened, happily depressed, completely shattered, and sometimes high from the loneliness – g.c.

 

i’ve fallen in love with change and uncertainty

a worldly experience pours into my consciousness

i allow it to flow through me

fill every aspect of my being

i am not drained

these challenges have warmed the blood in my body

and kept my heartbeat steady

each inflow and outflow of breath is another second i am alive

never asleep, never still

constant

constant movement of thoughts, emotion, fear, love

i am not held by any of these

each moment is different to the next

so this must mean i am free

i am free to change and stop resisting the fact that circumstances will never stay the same

i am free to choose

 

i’ll choose to be like a black raven beating its wings underneath the sun of the Indian summer

enduring the heat

expecting the changes of Autumn

 

change- g.c.

Falling In Love

“The Romans adopted the characteristics of the Greek god Eros, a small capricious boy, and called him “Cupid.” This god, born of Aphrodite, shoots people with his arrows, causing them to be overwhelmed with an irrational, uncontrollable emotion. It is not the attributes of the other person that causes love, but rather something that happens to you.”

I believe, when we “fall in love” with someone, we are really just easily able to recognize ourselves in that person, yet they are different than us and have different interests, so it makes the relationship that much more exciting. I think falling in love is an awakening of the self, and it is not that someone makes you fall for them, rather apart of you was open to seeing that person for more than what they appeared to be on the surface.

 

i can not feel bad for desiring to be alone.

just me and my mind.

i can not continue to resist the obligation i feel to immerse myself in the external world.

the force i put on myself to be amongst others and to be normal

wears me down,

so that the pull inside of me that begs for me to nurture the self

gets tired and i let go of who i am all together.

i lose my hold on myself,

and become small in the large chaos of the material world.

i can no longer bare to hurt myself like this,

so i will immerse myself in both worlds.

when there is agitation in either,

i will sit at the seat of my soul,

and know all that is outside of me is within me.

i can chose who i am in the present,

and nothing can ever change that,

because all there ever really is is change.

 

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i will not hold onto your love

and i will not hold a grudge

you hurt me

but pain is a great teacher

my pain has been a guide to liberation

i am free from your love

and have found my own

free of thirst

i swallow the love that is given

and ask for no more

i will no longer beg

your love is no longer a tease

it is not the breath that gives me life

i am stronger

not because of the times you loved me

but all those times you denied my thirst

thank god i did not take from you

you appeared to me as a well

but now that i have had a look inside

i see that you are empty

empty and dry

you lied when you said you were full and satisfied

my intuition steered me away from my thirst for a lie

even though it was of you to lie and deny

i will not deny your thirst

when i opened my mind

i found a river flowing with the best water you’ll find

it is endless

just like i am

infinite love and sustenance

to give to all

even those who are bone dry

whole – g.c.

nothing to separate the night from the day

i never tire

always awake

an energy

excited for life

time isn’t there

i don’t age

i grow

i learn

i live

i am a soul thriving

i see

my perception draws what surrounds me

it draws stars and universes in passing eyes

i speak

from my soul

i will not allow my intuition, my voice, my answers to be shut down

so ideals and lies can speak

my perspective will remain positive

as my life grows and I change

 

the truth isn’t harsh, if you have the right mindset – g.c.