anything that’s considered a responsibility becomes a task of misery,
unfortunately,

the masochistic mindset only comes into play when the things that cause true harm are around,
a pain not initially felt,
but whose effects are lasting
opposite

to the initial pain that sometimes comes with participating in tasks that are balancing but whose effects will also last,

and instead bring great improvement and growth,

not bad habits that i grow to love and loathe

 

– g.c.

i am the Atlantic,

i run deep,

life can survive in the darkest parts of me,

i run in different directions,

but my waves follow the moon,

i run into other oceans,

that i can never stray from,

i love everything from myself to infinity

i believe in oceans and worlds beyond me,

with the moon as a guide and the stars as companions

believing is just as easy as knowing,

and i know that i am a soul as deep and as beautiful as the ocean

 

seemingly endless self – g.c.

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do you wake up in the morning in a good mood?

have you not been crushed by the weight of your actions?

what does power give to you?

you’re clearly empty.

power deceives you to believe that you are wealthy and full.

how do you function without the voice of your soul?

did you bury it so deep that it vanished?

do you even own your soul or did you have to gamble it?

so you could be manipulative and controlling,

so you could have power.

i do not think I will ever fully know the answers to these questions,

but truthfully,

i do not want your answers.

i do not deserve lies.

yet,

i still ask,

and my main question is dejected and sorrowful.

why?

– g.c.

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the sky so blue,

even cobwebs too,

these things so mysteriously perfect,

remind me that earth is worth it

 

we do not need to question it,

and see what we can get from it,

we just need to love and sit in awe

of the beauty we are apart of,

 

we too have the ability to create art ,

just as our earth continues to,

when new flowers bloom,

and green grass catches dew

 

– g.c.

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the persona in my dreams,

a hidden part of me:

“you are not just a nook in time,

miracle being.”

a chasm in the infinite

swallowing a reality

embodiment of it’s totality

reflected valiantly

in works created

sure of divinity

empowered being

living abundantly

commemoration of soul

discovery and realization

truths told

a dream chaser

each day she will grow

goddess – g.c.

Purpose

i surrender to the day.

i wake up to white walls,

and decide how i will color my mood.

i am fatigued.

i know i don’t have to be.

i can get up, energize myself,

but everyday i consider doing nothing.

i could just lay for hours never truly waking,

but there is a hunger inside of me,

a knowing,

that once I make it passed tired thoughts I am bound to experience something.

something,

that will assure me that it is worth the push to be awake.

the experiences start with something as simple as the sun illuminating my room.

although the shades are down, reflections dance around.

i can not see the sky beyond the windows,

but i feel the movement of the clouds.

the warm sunlight fades to a cool payne’s grey,

then quickly shifts back to the warm hues ablaze,

golden yellow.

i feel like i am floating.

i am reminded of change.

i am reminded of freedom.

it is worth it to be awake.

i am then reminded of love, as i look into the deep wide eyes of my dogs.

i am flashed a dopey smile and greeted with kisses,

i see my soul reflected back to me.

i am connected to everything.

it is worth it to be awake.

next,

it is the joy and laughter that fill the kitchen as my brother hops around goofily dancing,

entertained by,

and completely in love with himself.

he laughs.

i laugh with him.

i feel my heart dance to the sound of our chuckles.

i am glad i am awake for this.

lastly,

it is the peace i feel as i finally step out into the warm sunlight and just breathe.

as long as i am breathing,

i am awake.

as long as i am awake and there is life inside this body, and I can absorb the sensations around me, then there is worth.

then,

there is purpose.

and,

with purpose,

i can not close my eyes.

 

– g.c.