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enslaved in an illusion

created from mental adhesion

to things you truly don’t believe in

 

freedom is a mindset – g.c.

 

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i know there are those who feel pride,

when they tear others apart.

it brings them a feeling of joy,

of power and dominance.

that feeling that they get is their own illusion.

they do not deserve pride from believing they have destroyed someone,

like they have bettered themselves.

 

you can only destroy yourself.

no one can hurt you.

responsibility and pride for destroying beautiful minds lies in the wrong hands.

allowing what others say to you and what they do to you affect what you do,

is ultimately everyone’s mistake.

it’s handing over control.

responsibility lies within for each individual’s actions.

all cruelty,

even if it is aimed toward yourself,

especially if for what someone did or said to you,

is unjust.

we rarely take notice of how we treat ourselves.

so,

destruction triumphs,

and the cycle is carried on.

flowering minds,

demolished.

jealousy and ignorance are imperative elements for this chain reaction of hurting to occur.

it’s a repetitive, chaotic, damaging ripple effect.

and this is our state.

we are our makers.

yet,

this seems far from our choosing.

the cycle is to blame of our state.

but responsibility still lies within choice,

within the individual.

it is really so difficult to justify human behavior.

our vices have become our mechanics.

our state reaps destruction.

this is our society.

no more pity parties.

no more grudges.

responsibility is due,

and so is change.

forgive,

and learn from yours and others mistakes.

 

retire blame and vengeance , bring abot forgiveness and change – g.c.

less problem solving, more soul searching

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cling onto the night

for when day comes you must see and face everything

the secrets kept

problems created

at night it is safe for them to be forgotten

our problems tucked safely in our back pockets

guide us through the day

lost without them

incapable of knowing a bright day

without  problems for shade

a world without worry

isn’t even conceivable

if we did ever know such a thing

then we might remember we don’t know anything

nothing is certain

our problems

our world

are not as big as we thought they were

believing that no matter what we try

the life we fantasize will never be tangible

creating problem after problem

attempting to fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed

trying to understand something that doesn’t need to be understood

seeking solutions

to peacefully come to a resolution

we have been trying to fix, understand, change perfection

a rhythmic flowing universe

where change is the only constant

creating problems to give reason to our existence

unaccepting to what is

craving explanation

readily we go blind

denying the truth

that we aren’t as big as we thought we are

neither are our problems

we are far beyond what the mind can conceive

look at the palm of your hand and feel there is nothing more real than you and i

far beyond a body or a mind

and far beyond the problems we constantly seek

 – g.c.

 

minds held captive to fear,

locks latched onto creativity,

held from a higher intelligence,

 

capitive to the illusion that they are free,

unable to fight for what they have never known,

 

what lays beyond walls built up,

they do not know,

ironically lost in their own prison,

they do not realize,

the skills required to build a wall are far more advanced than the tearing one down,

maybe illusion would stop fading reality,

if they were rid of the walls,

maybe they would not be lost,

if the walls were not blocking their vision,

if they could finally see the light,

blocked by the darkness of their lonely cells,

maybe they would finally be found,

and know freedom is found

 

see – g.c.

 

Fathers

He pours a store bought frozen meal out of its tray, onto a clean plate. The plate isn’t necessary. It is there to remind him of a home cooked meal, to remind him of a time when someone thought of him enough to make him one, and he did not bare all the burdens. There was a time, when life was a little more than a microwaved meal. It was more than a moment’s rest on a worn couch, awaiting responsibility to call his name. There was a time, when he got kisses and laughter in return for his labor, when he got to delve into his imagination and pretend to be the wondrous tickle monster. The giggles his love stole are now stored away as distant memories. All that is remaining is the memory of a happier life, these memories, buried under the consumption of practicality, responsibility, and hopelessness. He was dragged into a cycle that seemingly begins from nowhere and awaits a seemingly unknowable uncontrollable end.

I, with wondering eyes, watch this creature of habit. My brain is entwined with maybes and whys, and I sense the end is the goal for far too many men.

 

Hi, how are you?

“Hi, how are you?”

Good. What else would I be? What else would I say? You weren’t expecting me to tell you how I really felt? Were you?

When we must interact with strangers we ask questions with no meaning behind them and give brief conditioned answers. We never wonder. We never truly desire to understand the other person, because it is only a short interaction, right? There is no need to make anything of it, but you could have impacted that person’s day, if you knew how they really felt. They could have impacted yours, if they knew how you felt. You could have benefited from each other’s kindness.

I have started to develop a disliking for small talk and what is considered a “normal” interaction amongst strangers. I feel that what’s normal needs to change. Normal is a term used to describe a lot of different aspects of life. For example, living in a country, having borders, is normal. War is normal. Eating meat is normal. Going to college is normal. Getting a 9 to 5 is normal. Retirement and vacations are normal. Finding joy in materialistic things is normal. Looking up to and following celebrities, and the trends they set, is normal. Desire for money is normal. The concept of money is normal. Having a large circle of friends is normal. Saying, “Hi, how are you?” to strangers is normal. I could go on for days listing what we all agree upon is normal, but I think you get it.

Now, some people reading this may be thinking here goes this little hippie child about to tell me to save the earth, stop supporting my country in war, and to love everybody. Yeah, I guess that would be a normal person’s response. Too bad, I don’t care for what is normal.

I no longer wish to live a life seeking validation from others. That could never fulfill me. I can not rely on others to tell me my worth. I would eventually crumble, if I continued to hold the belief that I am only worthy, if I am liked by others.  I can no longer live with the fear of not being understood. I do not see myself as completely separate from others. I no longer feel the right to have an opinion of another. My empathy has manifested and has become a controlling force in my life. It may lead some to believe that I am weak and easily taken advantage of, but I believe it will one day be my greatest strength.

We all have thoughts running through our minds all day long. Thoughts focused on, not  loving, but being liked. We aren’t worried about making sure the other person feels loved. We are too caught up thinking about ourselves, but really not our well being. We can all relate to the fact that we all have insecurities. We don’t often realize this though, because we are too keen on our own, picking ourselves apart, as we compare ourselves to others, and what they present on the surface. Realization of the fact that we are alike, realization of the fact that we cling to belief systems and opinions for security, will lead us to surrender as our only option. We would then surrender our identification with these things and see us as alike, see us as one. Once you come across this realization and keep this in mind, while interacting with others, you will never want to cause harm to them, because you know, like you, there is depth to them, something going on inside of them, that is deciding all of their actions. Often though, what is inside is insecurity and uncertainty. This controls our actions, but it really shouldn’t. We should be so full on love, that is all we want to put out into the world.

Most everybody is lost. They don’t know themselves well enough. They have not a clue what gives meaning to their life. They don’t feel purpose. They do not spend time alone. They have never even thought of loving themselves. It’s strange that I did not know what self love was for the first sixteen years of my life, others have gone on longer. So, most people don’t love themselves or feel purpose, so they seek these things in the world outside of them, not realizing, it is all inside. They become followers. They follow beliefs of the Catholic church, Islam, or what/whomever. They follow the other good little girls and boys to college. They get a safe job like everybody else. They live simple and never search for meaning. They never create a bigger picture for themselves.

If we all just focused on personal growth and self love, if we all created a bigger picture, then we would know harmony and love. We would not know a forced “Hi, how are you?”. We would know genuine smiles and warm greetings. We would know truthful answers from strangers. We would know love amongst strangers. We would not know strangers. We would know human beings. We would know friends. We would know intimacy with all people. We would know cooperation. We would all know what it is to give and we would all receive.

Love is the new normal. Next time you ask someone how they are, mean it, or ask them something more meaningful, if you like. Whatever you do, don’t deprive a stranger of your kindness, just because you haven’t felt you have been shown any.

Give love. Receive love. Be love.

the future

the essence of all my fears

not even the past can amount to the future

not even the countless tears in my tattered heart

i fear what the past will bring to the future

to dissolve the illusory

to make art

that can calm an old yet restless heart

but the difficulty sometimes

i fight in my mind 

 

the future

feels so real

feel it breathing on your achilles heel

weakness creeps

you feel it twisting in your stomach

no,

not butterflies

so heavy it makes the rest of you feel light

small

your mind reeks of it

 

the future doesn’t give you something to hold onto

refuses your desire for strength

whispers to you that you have reached your peak

now you are on your way down

 

the future

the hand that shoves you down the mountain of all your hopes and dreams

pushing you away from the present moment

away from progress 

won’t allow you time to work on yourself

too distressed

completely and ironically obsessed with the future

thinking of the possibility that those dreams are all that they seem

a simple silly dream

 

the future wears you down to the bone

steals you with its slumber

not allowing you to see that it is but a dream

those seemingly catastrophic possibilities only occur in your restless mind

 

your aspirations could be thriving and becoming in the present

but the future has a grip that seemingly won’t slip

but i grabbed onto it

fed it power

maybe it’d be easier

to ease its grip

if i stopped holding onto it

after all i reached for the future

held its hand

nurtured that demon

my demon

the nightmare that is the future

the darkness shading the light that is the present

 

so i guess instead

when the present gets too heated

i will find my comfort and shade under the presence of a tree

not in my mind

or by allowing a dark illusory future to block out the beautiful truth that is the present 

 

the future – g.c.

 

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School Sucks

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It feels like school was created to take time away, make your life move so quickly. You can’t catch your breath. There is always something to be preparing for, all this planning, nothing in the moment. You follow procedure. Nothing that interests students is added to the curriculum. There is no time for that. It is always on to the next thing, figuring out how to arrive to a certain point. You need to get to this certain point. It is never, okay, we are growing, learning, improving, and finding ourselves.

 School is labeling, separating, and categorizing. You’re not smart enough for this. You are able to do this, so you have to do it. This is what you can do, and I am telling you kid; you can’t do that. It limits you, helps you create an illusive image of yourself, creates a space between your head and your heart. They take away the tools to build a bridge between that space, to be able to connect the two, to be able find your true self. They take away your creativity and program you to analyze, to retain information, but only the information they feel comfortable giving. They teach you to swallow the lies they feed you, but not to digest them, to break them down. Never question them.

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

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The thing is I do want to learn. I crave knowledge. I want my mind to grow a whole garden of beautiful thoughts and ideas. I don’t want enough information to get through life just fine; I want to thrive. I want a school that allows freedom and expression. I want a school that shows you all the beautiful things in this universe. I want a school that teaches that you can expand upon all that beauty, instead of them teaching you to fight this world’s problems that have been handed to you with more problems. I want to be encouraged to create a solution to world hunger not to an algebraic equation, that once solved makes no difference to anyone’s life. I want teachers who care to nurture my mind as I grow and not try to stuff it to the brim with information. I want to see the world through my own eyes. I don’t want to be told what another country is like. I can’t be expected to accept that this country is the best to live in, when I have never lived in another.

I want a school that’s about gaining your own unique experiences. I want a school about unity. I don’t hate the idea of school. I’ve grown to love the idea, actually. To be honest, what I love is my idea of how school should be, not how school is right now. Someday though, school is going to be an amazing and wonderful thing that kids get excited about. Someday, school won’t be the bane of kid’s existence. It will not be something to dread. School will make kids feel purpose; it will make them happy to be filled to the brim with beautiful knowledge…yeah, someday

“Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you’ve got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.” -Frank Zappa