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we may be burying these bodies
but that doesn’t mean we should treat them like dirt
creating a heavy load for the earth to carry what we have already worn

or we may be burnt to ashes
that doesn’t mean we should become fragile and crumble
allowing ourselves to be carried away in the whirlwind of life

– g.c.

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i’m too familiar with these memories and emotions

so i’ve kept trying to change them

but i can only create new ones

not replace them

but the new ones have come as a reminder

in time i’ll have to face fears

let go of the people and feelings of the past

and stand on my own

at the end of the day i am not without love

even if i am alone

 

move on – g.c.

anything that’s considered a responsibility becomes a task of misery,
unfortunately,

the masochistic mindset only comes into play when the things that cause true harm are around,
a pain not initially felt,
but whose effects are lasting
opposite

to the initial pain that sometimes comes with participating in tasks that are balancing but whose effects will also last,

and instead bring great improvement and growth,

not bad habits that i grow to love and loathe

 

– g.c.

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the persona in my dreams,

a hidden part of me:

“you are not just a nook in time,

miracle being.”

a chasm in the infinite

swallowing a reality

embodiment of it’s totality

reflected valiantly

in works created

sure of divinity

empowered being

living abundantly

commemoration of soul

discovery and realization

truths told

a dream chaser

each day she will grow

goddess – g.c.

Purpose

i surrender to the day.

i wake up to white walls,

and decide how i will color my mood.

i am fatigued.

i know i don’t have to be.

i can get up, energize myself,

but everyday i consider doing nothing.

i could just lay for hours never truly waking,

but there is a hunger inside of me,

a knowing,

that once I make it passed tired thoughts I am bound to experience something.

something,

that will assure me that it is worth the push to be awake.

the experiences start with something as simple as the sun illuminating my room.

although the shades are down, reflections dance around.

i can not see the sky beyond the windows,

but i feel the movement of the clouds.

the warm sunlight fades to a cool payne’s grey,

then quickly shifts back to the warm hues ablaze,

golden yellow.

i feel like i am floating.

i am reminded of change.

i am reminded of freedom.

it is worth it to be awake.

i am then reminded of love, as i look into the deep wide eyes of my dogs.

i am flashed a dopey smile and greeted with kisses,

i see my soul reflected back to me.

i am connected to everything.

it is worth it to be awake.

next,

it is the joy and laughter that fill the kitchen as my brother hops around goofily dancing,

entertained by,

and completely in love with himself.

he laughs.

i laugh with him.

i feel my heart dance to the sound of our chuckles.

i am glad i am awake for this.

lastly,

it is the peace i feel as i finally step out into the warm sunlight and just breathe.

as long as i am breathing,

i am awake.

as long as i am awake and there is life inside this body, and I can absorb the sensations around me, then there is worth.

then,

there is purpose.

and,

with purpose,

i can not close my eyes.

 

– g.c.

less problem solving, more soul searching

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cling onto the night

for when day comes you must see and face everything

the secrets kept

problems created

at night it is safe for them to be forgotten

our problems tucked safely in our back pockets

guide us through the day

lost without them

incapable of knowing a bright day

without  problems for shade

a world without worry

isn’t even conceivable

if we did ever know such a thing

then we might remember we don’t know anything

nothing is certain

our problems

our world

are not as big as we thought they were

believing that no matter what we try

the life we fantasize will never be tangible

creating problem after problem

attempting to fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed

trying to understand something that doesn’t need to be understood

seeking solutions

to peacefully come to a resolution

we have been trying to fix, understand, change perfection

a rhythmic flowing universe

where change is the only constant

creating problems to give reason to our existence

unaccepting to what is

craving explanation

readily we go blind

denying the truth

that we aren’t as big as we thought we are

neither are our problems

we are far beyond what the mind can conceive

look at the palm of your hand and feel there is nothing more real than you and i

far beyond a body or a mind

and far beyond the problems we constantly seek

 – g.c.

 

my heart dances

from the slightest resemblance of passion

the smallest acts of kindness

and littlest notion of love

 

i have a new rhythm

and i feel invincible

 

– g.c.

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too often i find myself in places where i am not truly wanted

i remain silent

heart sinking

keeping truth bottled up

but space to hide is limited

ideas far too wide to keep inside

so i seek solitude

locking myself away

i am ironically free

 

there was once a time where i did not know

so i would listen

i too sat and nodded

now i get up and leave

something changed

 

ignorance and small talk are no longer for me

 

conditioned conversation – g.c.