this time i did not try to escape reality

i immersed myself in it

i ran head on into my fears

this time

instead of running into a wall

disabling me

making me forget who i am

i found who i am

and found relief

i learned that walls don’t prevent you

you can free fall right through them

into a new dimension..

and might i mention

this wasn’t the first time i had done this

as a child

i had no walls to construct

because fear was challenged everyday as i grew

a leap into the pool without anything to keep me afloat

was a leap of faith in myself

now i’ve remembered walls are not concrete

they are illusive

constructed of fear and doubt

you can let yourself out

by pushing

and not pulling

 

just push through life

be apart of reality

don’t resist

don’t pull away

just be

then there are no walls to run into

and you are free

 

– g.c.

 

 

 

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my hands are like my mother’s,

the scent of dish soap lingering,

ungroomed nails,

rough broken skin,

working hands,

an unloved body,

possessing a wondering soul

 

my ambitions are like my mother’s,

too difficult for other’s to grasp

 

my past actions,

fill their heads with doubt and uncertainty

 

my love is like my mother’s,

searching for it in others,

who have nothing to give,

and I have nothing to give them,

empty worthless exchanges,

if we can’t find love within ourselves,

we can’t expect to give love

 

i only search for my mother and her love,

when they can’t be found,

when she is not around

 

i am my mother’s daughter- g.c.