eating disorders

we send the deathly skinny to rehab before their heart beat slows and they get bradycardia. why don’t we send the morbidly obese to rehab before a heart attack occurs? neither are respecting or loving their bodies. viewing themselves as one entity not allowing themselves to feel value. we don’t teach the people how to…

  i wanna be curled up under a blanket of stars with someone who i know doesn’t care about the trivial who doesn’t take life too seriously and can just appreciate the time we have on this beautiful planet to feel free of this body my soul invigorated close to another alike minds restless yet…

have i ever known balance? it seems i am catapulted from two extremes. i can’t even grasp the feelings i once had. no substance compares to the natural high of when you love yourself. the substances only fill the holes of the pieces of you, which you don’t find complete on the days, when looking…

the coziness of your own bedroom still moments lying in fresh linen sheets the soothing scents of lavender and the pages from an old book only subtle noises and piano sounds a headphone in each ear staring at a roughly patterned ceiling studying the lines an empty mind free of noise admiring the colors painted all…

There is a tight fist forming in my chest. I wish to retreat to my shell. Curl up and disappear. Thoughts pound their way through my head. I wish to rip them out, but all I can get within my clutch is my hair. Something impermanent that can be shed. I wish memories were the…

When You Feel Depressed

It is hard to even build up the desire to heal, because you really don’t feel anything. The most important thing to remember when you feel this way, is that nothing lasts forever. There is sort of an inner peace that comes with realizing this truth, at least for me. The second most important thing,  is never…

  the only craving my body use to feel was in my stomach the only part of me i knew was empty i did not realize that the entirety of me was empty now i feel my entire body my entire being and my body craves the movement i denied it of for so long…

Deep Rest

The worst period of my life began right around the time I was getting ready to go into high school, so when I was in 8th grade. And, it continued up until the end of my sophomore year. When you get into 8th grade, this is the time you start to worry about your future….

winter, i must learn to love you, for i do not know how   you take away the day, make my bones shiver, then constrict my body in so many layers of clothing,  that i lack the freedom of movement   you keep me hidden inside, under covers   you steal the ability for my…

Fathers

He pours a store bought frozen meal out of its tray, onto a clean plate. The plate isn’t necessary. It is there to remind him of a home cooked meal, to remind him of a time when someone thought of him enough to make him one, and he did not bare all the burdens. There…