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the barometer dropped
a true storm was coming
rebellion struck as passion began to ignite in every earthly soul
the air clear of agents not attuned to our biology
lungs filled purely on the prana that was meant to be there
no manipulation in the sky
just conscious creatures in the night
in balance with the cosmic sky
leaving behind lies
that once trailed them and forced them in a direction where there was nothing but chemically created illusion to meet the eye

 

– g.c.

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the sky so blue,

even cobwebs too,

these things so mysteriously perfect,

remind me that earth is worth it

 

we do not need to question it,

and see what we can get from it,

we just need to love and sit in awe

of the beauty we are apart of,

 

we too have the ability to create art ,

just as our earth continues to,

when new flowers bloom,

and green grass catches dew

 

– g.c.

The Center of the Universe

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this past weekend,

i went to the city.

i went to the city and it stole my heart,

right after it made my soul dance.

it left me with a light in my eyes and new desires.

it left me inspired.

it was the energy boost I needed,

for my mind was restless and I had grown tired.

It is kind of odd I say the city was an energy boost. Actually, going out and walking around everywhere gave me extreme fatigue. I did not sleep much while I was there, either. There was too much to do (And, I mean, also, it is the city that never sleeps).

The one uber driver I had, had a great way of explaining the city. He used a radio tower as an analogy for the city. He basically said, it transmits all the energy out into the world. It is the center of all the energy. It is the center of the universe, as some like to call it, and what happens there is signaled out to the rest of the world and has a ripple effect. I thought it was an interesting way to think of it. I can somewhat agree with this analogy. You go there, and when leave, you take this exuberance with you.

Being in the city, reminded me I have a purpose. It reminded me that I am not anyone else and I never will be. It reminded me of the beauty of the fact that we are all so similar, yet so different. We all have our own passions and desires and those deserve to be fulfilled. It made me feel full. It reminded me of my progress. In the city, I saw growth. I saw limitless opportunity and possibility. The city is an open mind. There is no fear of judgment, while you are there. It seems the main focus in the city is to dream, to create, to live fully. Coming from a small town, it was a truly enchanting otherworldly place, where I, surprisingly, felt safe. I know I will go back to the city many many times. I have been further inspired to travel, thanks to this experience. I am truly grateful to live on an earth so diverse, an earth holding new adventures around every corner I turn. I have lived in the same town for 17 years. I know what it is to be “settled down”(okay, like not with a husband, but to have a “permanent” home). But, I feel it in my bones; it is time to wander.

And, for you, I have one suggestion, maybe even a request. Go to the city. Get inspired. Listen to music. Hear your heart’s desire. Lift the veil between what is false and what is real. Admire the colors, sculptures, and art that paint the city. Fall in love with a stranger. Try something for the first time. If you’re looking for magic, the city is where you’ll find it. It helps you to see you for who you truly are. It makes you brave and daring enough, to search for more, beyond where you are coming from, beyond what you have known.

But, perhaps, you do not have to go to New York City. This earth is abundantly decorated with energetic cities and raw peaceful places. Go somewhere new. Go to a place that will give you what you need, whether it be peace and silence or energy and adventure. Trust me, you’ll find what you need. It is as easy as leaving “home”, as easy as leaving comfort.

 

And, also, I went to the Museum of Modern Art and was pretty much mesmerized by everything they had to show. I figured I would share some of what I saw, although the pictures do not do the art justice. Sounds cheesy, but you almost have to experience the art first hand to better understand and love it.

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The city showed me:

  • the kindness of strangers
  • the soul’s true desires
  • individuality
  • how much energy one place can feed
  • art, so much art
  • music without words
  • what dreams are made of
  • magic

The city taught me:

  • how much love this world has
  • how many people are in need of this love
  • that it’s okay to be on your own
  • judgments are silly and nothing to fear
  • i have a voice and it is there for a reason

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Hi, how are you?

“Hi, how are you?”

Good. What else would I be? What else would I say? You weren’t expecting me to tell you how I really felt? Were you?

When we must interact with strangers we ask questions with no meaning behind them and give brief conditioned answers. We never wonder. We never truly desire to understand the other person, because it is only a short interaction, right? There is no need to make anything of it, but you could have impacted that person’s day, if you knew how they really felt. They could have impacted yours, if they knew how you felt. You could have benefited from each other’s kindness.

I have started to develop a disliking for small talk and what is considered a “normal” interaction amongst strangers. I feel that what’s normal needs to change. Normal is a term used to describe a lot of different aspects of life. For example, living in a country, having borders, is normal. War is normal. Eating meat is normal. Going to college is normal. Getting a 9 to 5 is normal. Retirement and vacations are normal. Finding joy in materialistic things is normal. Looking up to and following celebrities, and the trends they set, is normal. Desire for money is normal. The concept of money is normal. Having a large circle of friends is normal. Saying, “Hi, how are you?” to strangers is normal. I could go on for days listing what we all agree upon is normal, but I think you get it.

Now, some people reading this may be thinking here goes this little hippie child about to tell me to save the earth, stop supporting my country in war, and to love everybody. Yeah, I guess that would be a normal person’s response. Too bad, I don’t care for what is normal.

I no longer wish to live a life seeking validation from others. That could never fulfill me. I can not rely on others to tell me my worth. I would eventually crumble, if I continued to hold the belief that I am only worthy, if I am liked by others.  I can no longer live with the fear of not being understood. I do not see myself as completely separate from others. I no longer feel the right to have an opinion of another. My empathy has manifested and has become a controlling force in my life. It may lead some to believe that I am weak and easily taken advantage of, but I believe it will one day be my greatest strength.

We all have thoughts running through our minds all day long. Thoughts focused on, not  loving, but being liked. We aren’t worried about making sure the other person feels loved. We are too caught up thinking about ourselves, but really not our well being. We can all relate to the fact that we all have insecurities. We don’t often realize this though, because we are too keen on our own, picking ourselves apart, as we compare ourselves to others, and what they present on the surface. Realization of the fact that we are alike, realization of the fact that we cling to belief systems and opinions for security, will lead us to surrender as our only option. We would then surrender our identification with these things and see us as alike, see us as one. Once you come across this realization and keep this in mind, while interacting with others, you will never want to cause harm to them, because you know, like you, there is depth to them, something going on inside of them, that is deciding all of their actions. Often though, what is inside is insecurity and uncertainty. This controls our actions, but it really shouldn’t. We should be so full on love, that is all we want to put out into the world.

Most everybody is lost. They don’t know themselves well enough. They have not a clue what gives meaning to their life. They don’t feel purpose. They do not spend time alone. They have never even thought of loving themselves. It’s strange that I did not know what self love was for the first sixteen years of my life, others have gone on longer. So, most people don’t love themselves or feel purpose, so they seek these things in the world outside of them, not realizing, it is all inside. They become followers. They follow beliefs of the Catholic church, Islam, or what/whomever. They follow the other good little girls and boys to college. They get a safe job like everybody else. They live simple and never search for meaning. They never create a bigger picture for themselves.

If we all just focused on personal growth and self love, if we all created a bigger picture, then we would know harmony and love. We would not know a forced “Hi, how are you?”. We would know genuine smiles and warm greetings. We would know truthful answers from strangers. We would know love amongst strangers. We would not know strangers. We would know human beings. We would know friends. We would know intimacy with all people. We would know cooperation. We would all know what it is to give and we would all receive.

Love is the new normal. Next time you ask someone how they are, mean it, or ask them something more meaningful, if you like. Whatever you do, don’t deprive a stranger of your kindness, just because you haven’t felt you have been shown any.

Give love. Receive love. Be love.

the future

the essence of all my fears

not even the past can amount to the future

not even the countless tears in my tattered heart

i fear what the past will bring to the future

to dissolve the illusory

to make art

that can calm an old yet restless heart

but the difficulty sometimes

i fight in my mind 

 

the future

feels so real

feel it breathing on your achilles heel

weakness creeps

you feel it twisting in your stomach

no,

not butterflies

so heavy it makes the rest of you feel light

small

your mind reeks of it

 

the future doesn’t give you something to hold onto

refuses your desire for strength

whispers to you that you have reached your peak

now you are on your way down

 

the future

the hand that shoves you down the mountain of all your hopes and dreams

pushing you away from the present moment

away from progress 

won’t allow you time to work on yourself

too distressed

completely and ironically obsessed with the future

thinking of the possibility that those dreams are all that they seem

a simple silly dream

 

the future wears you down to the bone

steals you with its slumber

not allowing you to see that it is but a dream

those seemingly catastrophic possibilities only occur in your restless mind

 

your aspirations could be thriving and becoming in the present

but the future has a grip that seemingly won’t slip

but i grabbed onto it

fed it power

maybe it’d be easier

to ease its grip

if i stopped holding onto it

after all i reached for the future

held its hand

nurtured that demon

my demon

the nightmare that is the future

the darkness shading the light that is the present

 

so i guess instead

when the present gets too heated

i will find my comfort and shade under the presence of a tree

not in my mind

or by allowing a dark illusory future to block out the beautiful truth that is the present 

 

the future – g.c.

 

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