Lucid Dreaming

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i feel each stage

my consciousness floats away

but my body remains

i feel the cold stillness of my body

i sink into the depths of my present reality

and journey to different planes

i come to the realization that a part of me is still awake

and i am in the presence of an unknown energy

a floating image somewhat familiar awakened me

still in the dream state

i fight to become fully aware and gain control of my body

disoriented at first

paralyzed by fear

because i have been here before

only it never lasted this long

i never had to fight this hard

i relax and remember to be present

i remember the impermanence of my reality

i move, wiggle

try to feel my breath

after several minutes

i am ready to give in and be swallowed by a dark presence

everything spins out of control

my heart beat quickens and the veil is lifted

my eyes open and i gasp

i never left

but what was once there is no longer

and i am in control

– g.c.

 

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Purpose

i surrender to the day.

i wake up to white walls,

and decide how i will color my mood.

i am fatigued.

i know i don’t have to be.

i can get up, energize myself,

but everyday i consider doing nothing.

i could just lay for hours never truly waking,

but there is a hunger inside of me,

a knowing,

that once I make it passed tired thoughts I am bound to experience something.

something,

that will assure me that it is worth the push to be awake.

the experiences start with something as simple as the sun illuminating my room.

although the shades are down, reflections dance around.

i can not see the sky beyond the windows,

but i feel the movement of the clouds.

the warm sunlight fades to a cool payne’s grey,

then quickly shifts back to the warm hues ablaze,

golden yellow.

i feel like i am floating.

i am reminded of change.

i am reminded of freedom.

it is worth it to be awake.

i am then reminded of love, as i look into the deep wide eyes of my dogs.

i am flashed a dopey smile and greeted with kisses,

i see my soul reflected back to me.

i am connected to everything.

it is worth it to be awake.

next,

it is the joy and laughter that fill the kitchen as my brother hops around goofily dancing,

entertained by,

and completely in love with himself.

he laughs.

i laugh with him.

i feel my heart dance to the sound of our chuckles.

i am glad i am awake for this.

lastly,

it is the peace i feel as i finally step out into the warm sunlight and just breathe.

as long as i am breathing,

i am awake.

as long as i am awake and there is life inside this body, and I can absorb the sensations around me, then there is worth.

then,

there is purpose.

and,

with purpose,

i can not close my eyes.

 

– g.c.

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i feel an energy flood

my heart opens up

like a pristine lotus in the sunlight

amidst the season of fire

transforming

rising from the depths

higher

then returning to that peaceful place within

blooming

beyond the surface as i rise

i see my true identity

reflecting back to me

clarity

sprung from the earth

which i recognize its hum as the comfort of a mother

roots running deep

beyond this place

my spirit

unrecognizable by face

tethered by soul

floating so free

more vibrant than a water lily

 

divine connection – g.c.

 

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if you have felt warmth from the sun,

felt the gentle handshake of the wind,

the caress of the skin,

you are not alone.

you can feel safe knowing the world,

like a mother,

will care for you,

its arms are always open.

run into them.

feel the world wrapped around you.

its love is infinite and always there.

it is up to you to feel it.

it is up to you to forgive.

control is yours.

you own your decisions.

you can decide to love and feel loved,

or you can close your eyes,

and hide the world’s beauty and love,

decide that the world has hurt you,

and that is all you will ever feel,

hurt.

so choose love.

love yourself.

do not hurt yourself.

 

love is the option you gain, when you surrender your security – g.c.