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who is to say what is worth knowing

we only ever got anywhere by thinking outside of the box

maybe we shouldn’t form our children into squares giving it to them “straight”

saying what they need

then condemning them for having a learning curve

the realization that they were on a steady path no where

no purpose

they decided to step out of the box

but then you measured their intelligence off the four subjects

that would allow them to fit your shape, your four sided model

you had only felt comfortable educating them in what you already knew

but their innate knowledge knowns no bounds

rather multiple dimensions

which gave them a new perspective

to see past your bullshit

you are full of it

because you’re a solid square can’t even see that you are the one who is uneducated and ignorant

but we know of peace and progression

so sit down and learn a lesson from the youth

life has more meaning than you could fathom

and yes it can all be interpreted and explained through social studies, science, english, and mathematics

but only with the heart and soul can it be understood

i may not hold a position of power now

but any influence I ever have will be used for good

 

LET THE CHILDREN BOOGIE – g.c.

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my mom left

for a while.

she needed to know who she was.

even i was uncertain of who she was.

this woman i watched all my life,

amazed,

she could do no wrong,

but as i grew older,

i began to see every flaw.

still,

even those at times,

seem to be perfect.

i love her,

but sometimes i worry that she does not know.

 

we needed some distance.

and although i will always want my mother,

and though she did help me grow,

i do not need my mother.

i did not know before she left what i could do on my own.

i did not know that seeking happiness for others is more fulfilling than seeking it all for yourself.

she put me first,

and i put myself first,

not in a self loving way,

but an egocentric unfulfilling way.

 

after my mother left,

i learned about my family,

started to really see them.

i was no longer the shy girl that hid behind my mother’s leg.

i could finally see what her protective defense was hiding me from.

i fell in love with disaster,

because i knew there was something better to come.

something better would come,

and it would come from me.

i finally saw the gifts i bare.

i was taught the lesson that pain was always trying to give.

she was away but never too far.

i still could have run to her.

let her comfort and protect me from disaster,

but now i know how to deal with pain.

my mom can not make everything go away.

i love her for her comfort,

but sometimes outside of comfort there is havoc,

and just beyond havoc,

i found the greatest place,

that is freedom and peace.

comfort gave me no clarity,

although i am sure that’s what she had always hoped for.

she always tried and did help heal me,

but,

truthfully,

only i can fix myself.

i am glad i learned this.

 

i am grateful for all the times my mother would stay and just lie with me,

for all the times i knew safety,

but i am also grateful that she left,

so i could fall without being caught in her net.

i have finally realized that there is no end,

that i will always fall

 

but,

i think,

on my own,

i’ll have more room to learn to fly.

thank you, mom.

– g. c.

ADD

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Teacher: “Grace. Grace? What did I just say?”

Me to myself: Shit, I did it again.

Most teachers would ask me this on a regular basis in school. This was their favorite way to embarrass the shy little girl that was always in her imagination. Okay, maybe, it wasn’t their aim to embarrass me (but I am pretty sure some of my teachers got a kick out of it), but it really did embarrass me. I never had an answer, because I of course was not paying attention. You see, when a teacher calls you out in class, the whole damn class just likes to turn around and shoot a quick look at whoever’s name the teacher called. When I was younger, having a bunch of my classmates stare at me was the equivalent to the ending of the world, at least my world. My face would turn hot, my stomach would drop, and there would be a deep sinking feeling in my chest.

My inability to pay attention in school, did not hold me back in anyway, although many adults thought it would. I still learned. I liked to read. I could pay attention, at times, but for the most part, I was good at figuring things out on my own. I mean sometimes, I would have an anxiety attack over schoolwork, and make a big pointless fuss just to find out, that I was capable of doing the work. I wasted a ton of time getting anxious about schoolwork. I always got it done, so I don’t know what I was necessarily worried about. I think, I was really just in resistance to most of the work. I would find myself questioning it. I felt I did not need most of the information being given to me. The homework assignments and projects, were silly and useless. I just saw little point in most of what was done in school, and felt my time was being wasted. This led me to live a very unhappy life, because I was in resistance to everything I was doing.

I felt my time was being wasted in school, but I would be told I was wasting time, when I was tumbling (I was a cheerleader), or just jumping and dancing around. Basically, anything fun, could not take up too much of my time. School always needed to come first, not personal fulfillment and happiness. I was told I was wasting time dreaming. I needed to be realistic. All these things people would tell me about the “real world” and how I needed to focus on reality, pushed me to the point where I decided I would rather die than to live the life they told me I was supposed to live. I had no other options. I was not told by anyone that my dreams were an option, that my imagination was important, that this could be utilized. I was not told to pursue happiness. I was told to pursue safety. I was told to pursue stability.

I must give my mother credit. When I was younger, she of course told me I could be anything and only wanted my happiness. She was by my side, always there to calm me down, when I had anxiety. She herself lived a life of conforming, and as I got older I realized, that she never felt satisfied with the life she was living. She understood me completely and it was clear, that she only wanted her children to be happy. This should be everybody’s goal, to make themselves and others happy, and not to compete with everybody over silly things such as social status.

The point I am trying to make is ,that kids should not be told they are limited, because they  have ADD or ADHD, nor should they believe they can not utilize their imagination.  A child’s inability to pay attention for a long period of time or do things perfect and accordingly to how they are told does not limit their potential. A child could have the potential to be an absolute genius, become a talented painter, make new scientific discoveries, invent something, do or be anything they want, but they will not, if they do not believe in themselves. Telling a child that there is something wrong with their curiosity, imagination, and the way they do things in general, will cause them to doubt themselves and they will never see their true potential. Albert Einstein had ADHD. It did not limit him. It does not have to limit anyone else. It can be utilized and this should be recognized by more people.