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step away from the world of subliminal impression
retreat to the shelter of the trees
that only advertise the oxygen you breathe
with ease this beauty is created
and gives you life for free
invaluable – g.c.

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i love the lonely nights

when i sit in spite of the clock

its tedious tick

has the characteristic of a gnawing itch

it is a mind game

i win

i make the rules

decide if i will be eluded

i’ve grown stronger now

my perception reaches beyond deception

the quiet night

quiet like myself

words floating closer to the surface

quickly I catch them

spoken

my views face discretion

i will never get them

so i am here on my own

thank god i no longer cling and know how to be alone

if they only knew gentleness

delicate enough to hold the truth

they’d be thrown

the world would spin around and head closer to home

the stars we’ve been shown

but fear kept us from knowing

the pain is showing

i psychoanalyze each and every encounter

i must deal with disguise but i won’t stop trying

because my hunger is not for a lies

try to offer and soothe

hoping the gentle and calm will bring about anxiety and hatred’s demise

those feelings harbor dark places for the ego to thrive

it’s time it was brushed off

for i can see it in their eyes

their shoulders are tired

it is difficult enough to put up the facade

to hold all this weight

dreams crushed instead of made

they can still be saved

i am still hopeful

the night is my rope still

i hold on to move on

forgiveness

i am mending

intertwined with the divine

grasp onto the line

let it lift you

high enough to see the light

then you’ll see just as i

even though the night is dark and lonely

everything is alright

you will be fine

 

stream of consciousness – g.c.

Purpose

i surrender to the day.

i wake up to white walls,

and decide how i will color my mood.

i am fatigued.

i know i don’t have to be.

i can get up, energize myself,

but everyday i consider doing nothing.

i could just lay for hours never truly waking,

but there is a hunger inside of me,

a knowing,

that once I make it passed tired thoughts I am bound to experience something.

something,

that will assure me that it is worth the push to be awake.

the experiences start with something as simple as the sun illuminating my room.

although the shades are down, reflections dance around.

i can not see the sky beyond the windows,

but i feel the movement of the clouds.

the warm sunlight fades to a cool payne’s grey,

then quickly shifts back to the warm hues ablaze,

golden yellow.

i feel like i am floating.

i am reminded of change.

i am reminded of freedom.

it is worth it to be awake.

i am then reminded of love, as i look into the deep wide eyes of my dogs.

i am flashed a dopey smile and greeted with kisses,

i see my soul reflected back to me.

i am connected to everything.

it is worth it to be awake.

next,

it is the joy and laughter that fill the kitchen as my brother hops around goofily dancing,

entertained by,

and completely in love with himself.

he laughs.

i laugh with him.

i feel my heart dance to the sound of our chuckles.

i am glad i am awake for this.

lastly,

it is the peace i feel as i finally step out into the warm sunlight and just breathe.

as long as i am breathing,

i am awake.

as long as i am awake and there is life inside this body, and I can absorb the sensations around me, then there is worth.

then,

there is purpose.

and,

with purpose,

i can not close my eyes.

 

– g.c.