i can not feel bad for desiring to be alone.

just me and my mind.

i can not continue to resist the obligation i feel to immerse myself in the external world.

the force i put on myself to be amongst others and to be normal

wears me down,

so that the pull inside of me that begs for me to nurture the self

gets tired and i let go of who i am all together.

i lose my hold on myself,

and become small in the large chaos of the material world.

i can no longer bare to hurt myself like this,

so i will immerse myself in both worlds.

when there is agitation in either,

i will sit at the seat of my soul,

and know all that is outside of me is within me.

i can chose who i am in the present,

and nothing can ever change that,

because all there ever really is is change.

 

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i see people who have never lived their truth

envy the youth

draw a line to divide those who have lived longer

but still wander

they are not fine

or wise

they have just grown tired                                                  of being naive

                              so to satisfy displease

they pretend that they know

this is wrong                                             that is right

do not fight

what they say

not only lies but consequences too have been made

punished for finding your truth

while you are still considered to be in your youth

you know yourself all too well                                                                too soon

its good to be lost

                    have to follow a boss

veer away from the line

don’t dare cross

thats what they say

but the fire in your belly put you here today

to stand up

not obey

and proudly say

that i am who i am

and i don’t give a damn

fuck the perfect plan

i’ll draw my path

won’t fear your wrath

i have my own

i’ll never be without a home

i’ll follow my soul

and will never be told

to sit down

or that faith can’t be found

it is all within

my story will begin

and i’ll have real tales

of wisdom

     for children who listen

                           to not just me

but stay curious                                                                      and search for more than they see

 

 

old souls in a new world – g.c.