i can not feel bad for desiring to be alone.
just me and my mind.
i can not continue to resist the obligation i feel to immerse myself in the external world.
the force i put on myself to be amongst others and to be normal
wears me down,
so that the pull inside of me that begs for me to nurture the self
gets tired and i let go of who i am all together.
i lose my hold on myself,
and become small in the large chaos of the material world.
i can no longer bare to hurt myself like this,
so i will immerse myself in both worlds.
when there is agitation in either,
i will sit at the seat of my soul,
and know all that is outside of me is within me.
i can chose who i am in the present,
and nothing can ever change that,
because all there ever really is is change.
i see people who have never lived their truth
envy the youth
draw a line to divide those who have lived longer
but still wander
they are not fine
they have just grown tired of being naive
so to satisfy displease
they pretend that they know
this is wrong that is right
do not fight
what they say
not only lies but consequences too have been made
punished for finding your truth
while you are still considered to be in your youth
you know yourself all too well too soon
its good to be lost
have to follow a boss
veer away from the line
don’t dare cross
thats what they say
but the fire in your belly put you here today
to stand up
and proudly say
that i am who i am
and i don’t give a damn
fuck the perfect plan
i’ll draw my path
won’t fear your wrath
i have my own
i’ll never be without a home
i’ll follow my soul
and will never be told
to sit down
or that faith can’t be found
it is all within
my story will begin
and i’ll have real tales
for children who listen
to not just me
but stay curious and search for more than they see
old souls in a new world – g.c.