I Opened An Etsy Shop!

creativity does not flow when given and ultimatum

it needs no exterior motivation

only a soul free to express itself

and a mind that desires to know this freedom

– g.c.

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So far, I only have two listings up, which is an original watercolor painting as well as a few prints of my watercolor elephant. Feel free to contact me, if you are looking for a painting of something in particular and we can work something out:) Have a beautiful day!

 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/570179663/vibrant-watercolor-summer-flowers?ref=listings_manager_grid

https://www.etsy.com/listing/565230483/spirit-animal-watercolor-elephant-print?ref=listing-shop-header-1

 

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Lucid Dreaming

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i feel each stage

my consciousness floats away

but my body remains

i feel the cold stillness of my body

i sink into the depths of my present reality

and journey to different planes

i come to the realization that a part of me is still awake

and i am in the presence of an unknown energy

a floating image somewhat familiar awakened me

still in the dream state

i fight to become fully aware and gain control of my body

disoriented at first

paralyzed by fear

because i have been here before

only it never lasted this long

i never had to fight this hard

i relax and remember to be present

i remember the impermanence of my reality

i move, wiggle

try to feel my breath

after several minutes

i am ready to give in and be swallowed by a dark presence

everything spins out of control

my heart beat quickens and the veil is lifted

my eyes open and i gasp

i never left

but what was once there is no longer

and i am in control

– g.c.

 

Falling In Love

“The Romans adopted the characteristics of the Greek god Eros, a small capricious boy, and called him “Cupid.” This god, born of Aphrodite, shoots people with his arrows, causing them to be overwhelmed with an irrational, uncontrollable emotion. It is not the attributes of the other person that causes love, but rather something that happens to you.”

I believe, when we “fall in love” with someone, we are really just easily able to recognize ourselves in that person, yet they are different than us and have different interests, so it makes the relationship that much more exciting. I think falling in love is an awakening of the self, and it is not that someone makes you fall for them, rather apart of you was open to seeing that person for more than what they appeared to be on the surface.

 

planetary pollution

a world filled with illusion

awakening means movement

sit still little girl

there is no room for improvement

just this path

hold in those tears

it is of a man to have rage and wrath

noises aren’t real fears

be grateful

it wasn’t you those fists hit

did you want them to?

hush

swallow the lumps

little girl your words are distasteful

stop hurting yourself

memories don’t fade like your cuts, bruises, and bumps

 

and to answer your question

yes

i want it to be me

maybe that way you’d learn to handle your aggression

it’s not that I wish to feel the warmth of welts forming

rather than to not hear your heavy feet storming

towards to door of someone else i love

i’m not begging for your fists to color my porcelain skin

but I’d rather they not smash into the wall again

i want to scream stop

as you bang your chest and the veins in your head throb

you’re hurting yourself

slipping away

farther

killing your daughter

because i do not want you

my beaten up father

i want the man who speaks softly

when he hears the footsteps of his daughter

the only time he is yelling is out of joy

as he plays the big scary monster and chases after his little boy

but then you took the game too far

when your life got repetitive my brother got the blame

the only thing he got from the chase was his very own rage

and with that came shame

so he drowns himself in liquor

because he is still a boy

he can’t survive like you do

swimming in those same old thoughts

day in and day out

for years i was blinded by my own anger

all i saw was a shell that rots

but now i know that you are not empty

the frustration and aching in your bones just make those wild fits tempting

but they don’t want to see you like that

but i know soon you’ll explode if you don’t get some release

you have yet to learn that pounding your fists is not how you breathe

i only hope you find your niche

some form of therapy

but do not give up

please

it is okay if you change

there is nothing to lose but only to gain

my love will not waver

mom is trying to grow

but do not cave for her

you do not need to shrink

if you make yourself any smaller

limit yourself farther

my heart will surely sink

it is all in your head

all in how you think

transform

the scars we will shed

let your soul be fed

nurture yourself

your kids are grown

we are strong enough on our own

we have hurt you too

so return the punch

one last hit

sweep the rug from under our feet

it is okay

i am familiar with the taste of defeat

but i know once i fall

i’ll be ready to fly

because i learned from you

at the end of the day

we all must try

so let us break then consolidate

let us redirect fate

i love you

that will always hold true

breathe

the day is new

 

my family will breathe – g.c.

i drown out the sounds of the world

without realizing i do it

because i am hurting

i block out all the colors

tune out of reality

eyes locked to a lit up screen

draining my vitality

i found myself looking out car windows on the way to a doctor who couldn’t figure out what the hell was wrong with me

but i found the cure

when i saw my reflection in the rearview the saw a man with a face just a s pure

starving from hunger

but full of experience and life

stories that i might like to hear

but never will know the pain he has had to fight

to come to a place where he is alone

but still asks to be given from those outside of him

maybe that is a place i’ve already known

or i’ll have to go

just to learn

but for now

it is of my young heart

to yearn for the sky

that i watch pass by

on those peace of mind soul satisfying car rides

 

car rides – g.c.

 

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if ignorance is bliss
then why are the uneducated dealing with all these hardships
no one is really dumb
it’s just dependent on where you are coming from
there are those who hit and those who get bruises
being impressionable is just apart of being human
except some are left unscarred
but not untethered
a forward an reverse reaction
a need for attachment
relationships feeding off mental harassment
climb up the social ladder
see who gets their faster
accumulate accumulate
is this what makes the human race so great?

– g.c.