The Pressure To Do What Your Parents Want

(I know some adults and parent are very understanding, or grow as a parent as their children do. I am not necessarily saying parents that act this way are terrible. I know a lot of people are just doing the best they can with what they know and understand.)

Everyone has experienced the feelings of anxiety, fatigue, and depression. We are all human. There is a broad spectrum of what we can feel and experience. It is difficult to understand why parents/adults don’t understand their children and look down on the youth for feeling these things. Instead of supporting them, they tear them apart and say it is simply because they are lazy. Does calling someone lazy really change anything? It only makes them feel worse about how they are feeling and depletes them of their drive or will to do anything. I never understood why adults would tell children how disappointed they are, as if it would make them any better and change their behavior. It  only creates fear, which leads to ruminating, wasting time, feeling guilty, and never truly allowing a child to move forward, grow and thrive. The goal should be for a child to feel loved and supported not to have them worrying what their parents, peers, and “superiors” think. Rather than them focusing on being at peace, being an individual, and thinking for themselves, they are constantly struggling between what the right thing to do for themselves is and what will make their family happy.  Kids need to know it is okay to do what they desire we should accept this not condemn it or call it selfish. How can we expect them to give to others and help impact this world, if they have been taught not to give to themselves? They must nurture their minds for individuality to bloom, and from this they may innovate and change the world around them. Children can still be grateful and loving, but they do not need to feel pressure to do what others want them to. The goal of raising a child, in today’s society, seems to be manipulation and control not to nurture, learn, love, grow, and lead them to a path of prosperity. It needs to be accepted that the youth will disappoint their parents, elders, and most of all, themselves. We will mess up. It is okay. We must have our own experience. Life happens to all of us, and nobody has any business trying to control how it happens for anyone else. You get to control yourself, your life, but no one else’s… not even your kids. They are their own person. We are all individual human beings not perfect creations owned by our parents. We all innately desire freedom. The youth can’t be burdened by opinions. They need to do what is best for themselves and listen to their intuition. I know I am miserable, when I do what everyone else thinks I should be doing and ignore my own feelings. I guess my point is: please, don’t every tell anyone that they hurt you or that you re disappointed in them for following their heart and living their truth. If you truly care for someone, you won’t make them doubt their potential or stunt their growth trying to make sure you are always pleased with their decisions.

Gaining an understanding of children is the simplest, but most helpful thing the adults of this world can do. We have all been there, naive and idealistic. Children don’t need harsh truths, or to be hit with reality to “wake up”. Parents need to wake up and see the world more as they do: ideal.  Be patient. As children grow and find these harsh truths, they will begin to understand you as well. Don’t let the responsibility and need for stability take over their lives. Don’t let them forget that they are alive and that is not to work, suffer, take a break, and continue on. Teach them to keep their inner child alive, the part of them that wonders and seeks beyond the harsh realities for the beautiful truth of it all. Life can be messed up, but from this we learn to appreciate the simplest things and see them as beautiful. We can teach children to search for more, to strive, and not limit themselves. At the same time, they can learn to appreciate who they are and what they have to give, right now. The only way we are going to be able to heal our world is if we are rid of self limiting beliefs and start to see ourselves in everyone. Empathy and understanding, that is my truth, my answer as to how we all can heal.

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